|Writing this outside...|
On my previous post I didn't fully elaborate on my week at TeenPact. Summing it up in a few words it was hard, learning, stretching, and absolutely wonderful. I probably experienced almost every emotion out there in just five days...
*pauses to reflect and suck in some nice country air*
When I say the word hard, I mean it in its simplest form. I am naturally a quiet person, usually being the one stepping aside, letting my sister or someone older than me take over and take care of all the "first meets" and conversations. But this year at TeenPact, I didn't have that "shoulder to lean on", it was just me.
I enjoy meeting people and asking the basic questions "How old are you... Where do you live... How many siblings do you have... Any amazing life-changing dreams...??". It's carrying on the conversation that strikes me as hard. Sounds extremely silly, eh?
But after a long chat with a dear friend during this bonfire I realized how much I actually love conversation. And after forcing myself passed the initial "What do I say?" or "Do they like me or do they hate the sight of my face?" I realize how rewarding it is. After that moment (and a life lesson learned that same night when I was so struck with conviction I had to choose either repentance or the lack of much-needed sleep) I forced myself to just calm and not think so much of myself, but of the people I was communicating with.
So no, I'm not some amazingly professional conversationalist now, but I am very willing to just talk with people. Something that seemed absurb before this trip. Because frankly, I love people, especially my TeenPacter people!
When I say stretching I'm referring to public speaking. I used to shiver at just the thought of public speaking. Like literally, shiver and blush and wipe sweaty palms. The thought of actually standing in front of people made my heart thump so wildly I though it would just stop. Really.
But I had a wonderful experience the very last day when my "House Resolution" was being read aloud. I knew what was coming. I knew I would have to stand in front of all my TeenPacter friends and defend my resolution and I also knew it was kind of like my "last moment" with my pals, since TeenPact was almost over. So I sucked in some air, stood up with confidence I seriously lacked and defended my resolution (which was on social security) and, crazy as it may sound, I was actually sad when my time was up. It was a very stretching experience, but fun at the same time.
And so, I am already thinking of ways I can further use these "new lessons". And though they were and still are hard lessons to learn, I am very glad I am learning them.
So, yes. It was quite a wonderful week. And I'm extra glad I pushed myself to go and learn these lessons. But, let me say, they weren't easy to learn, there were meltdowns and awkward act-like-I'm-using-my-phone type moments.
But it was swell!